Sometimes couples think they're being subtle. But here's the secret-- "You're Not!"
If people catch on that there's a couple in the room, they start to notice everything they do together.
"Oh, he sat by her!" "Oh, she's helping him with his music!" "Oh, they're eyes are meeting!"
It's the honest truth. Trust me, I'm in that situation all the time :S
But usually no body says anything. People just "ignore" it. But it's that scenario when you're trying so hard not to think about something that eventually it's all you can think about.
It's as if there's an elephant in the room but no one wants to admit it.
So what do you do when there is "an elephant in the room"?
Here's a fun idea. It can be a code; either say something with the word "elephant" in it or make a trunk out of your arm and make an elephant noise. On that signal, everyone who understands will get up and go do something fun in another room (hopefully taking the rest of the people as well).
Then the couple can have time and space to do what they want, but no one else has to feel uncomfortable. In fact, then everyone else can have fun!
But always be sure you are sensitive to people's feelings. ("The Damsel" made an excellent comment on when not to do this, and other things.)
If people catch on that there's a couple in the room, they start to notice everything they do together.
"Oh, he sat by her!" "Oh, she's helping him with his music!" "Oh, they're eyes are meeting!"
It's the honest truth. Trust me, I'm in that situation all the time :S
But usually no body says anything. People just "ignore" it. But it's that scenario when you're trying so hard not to think about something that eventually it's all you can think about.It's as if there's an elephant in the room but no one wants to admit it.
So what do you do when there is "an elephant in the room"?
Here's a fun idea. It can be a code; either say something with the word "elephant" in it or make a trunk out of your arm and make an elephant noise. On that signal, everyone who understands will get up and go do something fun in another room (hopefully taking the rest of the people as well).
Then the couple can have time and space to do what they want, but no one else has to feel uncomfortable. In fact, then everyone else can have fun!
But always be sure you are sensitive to people's feelings. ("The Damsel" made an excellent comment on when not to do this, and other things.)
I think that it would be rather inappropriate to have a signal which would lead everyone out of the room. I have a couple reasons for this:
ReplyDeletefirst, the two people who are "making things awkward" may not know they are. I and one of my good guy friends are often made out to be dating. This is because we are super comfortable together, able to talk without awkward pauses, and we enjoy gifting things. It is simply a friendship, yet so many assume it's not. If people created a signal for us "acting together" we would both be very confused... and honestly hurt.
Also, lets say the two people are in fact together, leaving to do "what they want" may be the farthest thing from what they want. They may still be trying to follow the advice to stay in public places. By all leaving you could make them feel awkward, hurt, and uncomfortable.
Just my thoughts. I would love for this to be taken in a kind, and yet questioning manner. I most certainly would enjoy to discuss.
That is a very good point. Thank you for bringing those up. I definitely should have phrased this post better :S. Thanks again for bringing in those insights.
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ReplyDeleteI am going to try this again :)! I don't feel my first comment really captured what I was feeling...
ReplyDeleteGood comment, Damsel, and done in a very respectful way, thanks!
One thing to consider is that I think this blog is trying to address a state of heart. I think it is great having best friends with either gender is fantastic, but we should still be cautious lest we don't recognize the subtleties of Satan.I had many friendships with guys but I guess always recognized the potential marriage factor--just because that is so much fun and really so much a part of what dating is...finding that best friend to spend the rest of our life with :)! I married my best friend...something to think about :).
Also, I think a flip side to look at with both this post and this comment is the fun and rewarding friendships that come from reaching out to others when you are all together in a group rather than consistently going off to the side to "catch up"...have fun with it! Draw others in and reach out in Christlike ways consistently and I don't think the elephant will ever be a concern or problem...and you will me AMAZED at the wonderful people you will find :)! I think in all this there is a higher law with greater blessings waiting by consistenly seeking the good in following God's counsel to develop friendships with many during this fun and exciting time of your life :).